Pike Place Now Selling Filet Of Trumbo
To paraphrase Collective Soul, "Diamondbacks, your cup runneth over with outfielders. Don't scream about! Don't think aloud! Trade an outfielder now, baby! Just spit him out! Don't worry about! Don't...
View ArticleRendonesia Has Conquered My Malaisia
Thank you, Jesus Guzman! Or Jesus Alou or Jesus Colome or David DeJesus or whatever baseball Jesus you pray to! Anthony Rendon was activated! "Hello, God, it's me Grey. I have no more requests...Well,...
View ArticleDraftKings: Walk The Plank Phillies!
Saturday has once again given us great pitching options to choose from. Pirates' pitcher Gerrit Cole heads the list. Considering the price tag of $10,700 and facing the Phillies at home in Pittsburgh,...
View ArticleDraftKings: Montgomery Burns The Giants
Truth up front: this be a punt. You want me to extol the virtues of Mike Montgomery and I just don't have that much smoke to blow up your pretty little tush. Today there are a lot of great pitching...
View ArticleDraftKings: Drink The Sweet Hector Of The Gods
Whoa there, friend. Don't go there. You really, REALLY read that title wrong. This isn't Brazzersball, this is Razzball so you keep your dirty thoughts to yourself...or share them in the comments!...
View ArticleFranco Has Pineda Muttering His Initials
Maikellebrew strikes again! And again! Two homers last night for Maikel Franco (4-for-5, 3 runs, 5 RBIs, hitting .312), his 8th and 9th homers of the season in only his 36th game played. That prorates...
View ArticleRosario Awesome and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 13
I love me a hot schmotato almost as much as I love me a hot Latina. [Jay's Note: I prefer the angry Latina.] Yes, it is true, I love Latin women more than fantasy baseball, except this week, when I...
View ArticleDraftKings: LA Ace With An Oakland Goody
When is a remake not a remake? No, this isn't a riddle. I'm seriously curious how 'Anaconda' was considered a new 'song'. Sure, Nicki Minaj provided some new...um...lyrics? Is cackling after saying...
View ArticleBour on the 4th of July
Justin Bour celebrated the birth of our nation Friday night by going 2-for-3 with his 10th home run, making that four straight games he's homered. Bour is hotter than a roman candle! He's hotter than a...
View ArticleJuan of a Kind and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 14
You can think whatever you want about Juan Uribe. I don't care what anyone thinks, he is one of the most unique players in baseball. A classic character from yesteryear. He has to be a latin 50. Have...
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Points Leagues: The Triple Lind-y
I don't know many guys over the age of 35 that haven't stood on the edge of a diving board, tested the wind with their thumb and casually fired off a series of armpit farts before triumphantly diving...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters for the Second Half of 2015
Hey look, it's all-star week. Wonderful... stupendous... greaaaaat *said in sarcastic monotone voice* Real baseball? Blah! Give me games so I can play my game. I can't even go to Draftkings... or can...
View ArticleA COG(hlan) in the Fantasy Machine and Top 100 Hitters, Week 16
I sat down Friday night and started watching Shark Tank for the first time. Wow, have I been missing out on a beautiful reality show. No B.S., I have been binge watching it all weekend. I know, I know,...
View ArticleDraftKings: DFS Crushes
I get them all the time. The DFS man-crush. The players in the game that I latch onto and can't stop rostering them, through the good times and bad. This isn't a bad thing. In fact, when you know a guy...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 17: Vacation Mandate
I went out on my annual mid-season man-date with Grey this past Friday. What a day! Sandwiches at the wine shop, facial hair products at the beauty supply store, and coffee at some weird fancy...
View ArticleThere is No Shame Riding this Scooter and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 18
I have returned from my much needed and financially reasonable vacation. I went to San Diego for five days and four nights with the family, and enjoyed almost every damn second of it. I learned one...
View ArticleNelson’s Month Of Ha-Ha
Of course, the title is referring to Nelson Muntz, but Jimmy Nelson sounds like a sitcom character too. Like the kid who is sweet to the parents, but is really the devil incarnate when no one is...
View ArticleDraftKings: Doing the D-Hutch splits
Drew Hutchison has been somewhat of a gas can this year....on the road. That's right, away from the hitter-comfy Rogers Centre, D-Hutch has been atrocious on the road. Consider these away stats: .433...
View ArticleFlavor Flav Yells, “Yeah, Boyd!”
Whatever happened to Flavor of Love? That show was my jizzoint! And Rock of Love, its companion piece, was the Better Call Saul to its Breaking Bad. You can't tell me those two shows went off the air...
View ArticleDraftKings: The God of Thunder is Here!
Noah Syndergaard is today’s most expensive player in DraftKings, and deservedly so. He has 100 strikeouts in 94 innings pitched, with a 5/1 K/BB rate, and has been very good overall this season. Of...
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