The Brown Recluse Creeps Us Out and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 19
I still can't believe I chose this schlub to be the creeper of the week. What am I thinking? OR maybe, what am I smoking *takes another hit* to conclude that this disappointment can be a creeper? Tehol...
View ArticleBird Man Loose In New York
Greg Bird was called up by the Yankees. I wonder if when Greg Bird dies his ghost will be harassed by a 1980's black gang calling him Larry Bird. But, more importantly, let's pray Bird doesn't wear...
View ArticleCreepers in the Park and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 20
A few weeks back, I was on vacation and the Big Magoo covered the creeper. He did one hell of a job by making good calls and changing up the format. This week, I'm feeling inspired by the Big Magoo and...
View ArticlePedro Alvahomer
I was able to pick up Pedro Alvarez (2-for-4, 19th homer) for the batty call yesterday, which is kinda silly since he has four homers in the last week, and now I don't see how I can drop him. Wouldn't...
View ArticleThe Creeper Ball Run And The Top 100 Hitters, Week 21
I'm channeling some inner-Albright this week. Seat of your pants son! Speaking of Grey, I used the photo he took of me giving him the Larry Bird for my new avatar since it made sense to me that I...
View ArticleSunday Creeper Sunday and the Top 50 Hitters, Week 21
Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about U2. I already go over boring hitters below. Seriously, they are one of the most overrated bands ever. They are like the 80's and 90's version of the Eagles. The...
View ArticleDraftKings: Coors is the One
To play or not to play, that is the question. When there are home games at Coors, you can be faced with that question. Do I do what it takes to roster guys in games at Coors, or do I do my best to...
View ArticleDraftkings: Dallas Kyer’s Club
It’s been a rough week to be Dallas! Last Sunday the Cowboys lost Bryant for 2-3 months and yesterday Romo went down with a broken collarbone. Tough break for the Cowboys but you’re not here for Da...
View ArticleTop 20 Catchers, 2015 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap
It feels like just the other day the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on...
View ArticleTop 20 1st Basemen, 2015 Fantasy Baseball, A Recap
After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you...
View ArticleTop 20 Catchers for 2016 Fantasy Baseball
The other day the top 10 for 2016 fantasy baseball was straight sexy like when a model on America's Next Top Model knows how to smize and booty tooch. Then, the next day, the top 20 for 2016 fantasy...
View ArticleTop 20 1st Basemen for 2016 Fantasy Baseball
After the top 20 catchers for 2016 fantasy baseball, it's all downhill. And by downhill, I mean it will pick up speed and start moving quickly. That really should be what "it's all downhill" means....
View ArticleChanging of the Guard: Pocketful of Posey
Last year, I was probably Buster Posey's greatest champion. Not only was he the obvious number one catcher, but my futuristic math indicated that in points leagues he had first round value. While he...
View ArticleSchwarber Hurts Ankle In Impromptu Audition For DH Job
My schmohawk posts are like the fantasy equivalent of Final Destination. First, A.J. Pollock loses his season, then Kyle Schwarber is carted off the field after running into Fowler. If I were Miguel...
View ArticleDraftKings: Weather?!?! I Hardly Know Her!!!
Hello everyone, and welcome to the weekend! You made it! After a week of working where it seemed as if the clock was moving in hours instead of minutes, sit back, relax, and let's enjoy America's...
View ArticlePoints Leagues: Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Hazelbaker’s Man
In the offseason, I experimented with a new rankings system. After a several iterations of trial and error, I finally arrived at a solution that yielded favorable results. Even though we are only about...
View ArticleHR Called Five Times As Old Guys Harass Young
Yesterday, Chris Young went 2 2/3 IP, 5 ER as he allowed five solo home runs, which tied a franchise record, and was only the 7th starting pitcher to give up five home runs in less than three innings....
View ArticleDraftKings: Oh Danny Boy
If there is one thing that rarely scares me in DFS, it is ace pitchers facing off against a high-powered offense. Clayton Kershaw against Toronto; so what? Noah Syndergaard against the Cubs--big deal....
View ArticleDraftKings: Play the Ker-sure Thing
Last week I advocated a Jacob deGrom start against the Padres. I ensured all of you that playing the sure thing ace on the day was worth the price. Any of you who played him know I was wrong, as he...
View ArticleDraftKings: #Barves New World
I remember a time not long ago. A time when the #Barves were the Braves. I think said time predates the hashtag phenomenon which makes it, like, sooooo old. Before Fredi got Fired and even more...
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